St George’s Church

It seems there is not a day that goes by lately in which some headline informs us of yet another case of children and young people going off the rails. Violence, drugs, criminal involvement, gangs, and even murder are becoming increasingly common amongst our young people.

While plenty of explanations for this can be offered, surely the breakdown in discipline and boundary-setting is a big part of this. Indeed, family breakdown is a contributing factor. Many single-parent families (most of which are headed by mothers) are struggling as is, and the absent father increases the tendency to see discipline reduced.

Even where parental discipline is on offer, increasingly the state is taking options away from parents. Many nations have barred parents from the right to use corporal punishment. And as I noted elsewhere, some nations are now seeking to ban “psychological violence” in the home.

All of this contributes to a generation of kids raised with few boundaries and little discipline. Of interest here, a recent news story from the UK reported that the British Schools Secretary has refused to ban smacking at Islamic schools, even though it is banned in all State and private schools. The secretary claims he wants to avoid ‘upsetting Muslim sensitivities’.

But leaving the physical punishment debate aside for now, many of our “experts” want to effectively ban all discipline. Many are not only against any corporal punishment, but are increasingly against any sort of discipline which might scar little Johnny’s fragile psyche, or in any way harm little Sarah’s wobbly self-esteem.

Consider this incredible suggestion from one such Australian “expert”. Here is how a recent news report carried the story: “A Melbourne expert says naughty corners and time out in bedrooms are inappropriate because they shame and humiliate. The same goes for smacking, which education and parenting consultant Kathy Walker says makes children feel resentful.”

So our authority on children says we must not “shame or humiliate” our children. Sorry, wait one minute here. It seems to me that simply telling a child “no” in dozens of circumstances could be potentially shameful or humiliating. Will she next say that parents should be banned from telling their kids they cannot do things?

An even more urgent question I would have for this expert is this: Do you have any children? So often these bureaucrats and experts who wax eloquent on family matters and the welfare of children do not even have a family of their own.

But wait, it gets even worse. In today’s press was a story about a lunatic proposal to reduce bullying in schools. The plan? To not punish bullies, but rather, “empower” them! I kid you not. “Rather than being accused, suspected bullies are merely spoken to and encouraged to think of ways to help a bullied student cope.” Well, that should certainly make the bullies think twice, shouldn’t it?

Indeed, why haven’t we thought of this before concerning other anti-social behaviours? Instead of accusing rapists, we could “empower” them. They could be encouraged to offer their victims help in coping. Instead of punishing arsonists, we should just speak to them and “empower” them. Let’s also empower thieves, racists and murderers. Puh-leeese!

The truth is, children grow up in only one direction, and that direction is toward self. Self-centeredness comes naturally to all children. Indeed, everyone is essentially selfish and focused on number one. That is why we all need boundaries and we all need rewards and punishments.

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